What is the nsa sex hookup

what is the nsa sex hookup

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After years of being hesitant and curious about random craigslist sex encounters but too nervous to try it, I finally went for it and had THE most incredible time with a sweet, clean, nice-smelling, huge-cocked, gorgeous guy. In and out in under 45 minutes, no hassle, no mess. He was appreciative, but segued perfectly into really rough, domineering sex, which is what I was craving.

My second meeting with a guy was way more intense. He took my request for rough sex to mean full-on rape scenario with choking, spanking, hair-pulling, name-calling, but he gave me little cues during that let me know it was all an act. It pushed my comfort levels to the max, but it was cathartic. I'm starting to think the internet is like this amazing hour menu for any kind of specific kink I can think of, but I don't want to get too cocky or trusting, and I'd love to hear sexxit's experiences--funny, scary, hot, or all three at once.

And one, well, she was a sweet, slightly drunk, needy, funny girl and I hope, rather futilely, that I am not on her "list of worst NSA internet sex hookup stories". With us, you know the old expression "Never stick your dick in crazy. But knowing this woman even a short time vividly brought to life the distinction between crazy in the "likely to get angry at you in a restaurant for no reason" sense and crazy in the "likely to hack body parts off herself or you or both for no reason" sense. So I never went very far with her.

I hate to sound callous but she had a therapist and an anti-depressant regimen and the suicide hotline on speed-dial and if all that couldn't help her, it was unlikely that I -- with my sub-reptilian grasp of human emotional dynamics and my rather torpid indifference to her personally -- would be much help.

That's the thing about clinical depression, it's kind of a self-fulfilling prophesy. I sometimes felt like telling her, you know, if you hadn't abandoned your husband and children for no good reason, and tried to get a job or make friends, or engage in any social activity other than fucking strangers you met on Craig's List, then maybe you would have a reason for not killing yourself.

Yes, I'm aware I should be more sympathetic, depression is a disease, but it's a heck of a lot easier to be sympathetic to, for example, AIDS victims: Would you, ultimately since you sound pretty experienced , say it's worth it? The whole CL path of sex-getting, I mean? Right now it seems like a very tantalizing route, but I wonder if after time the potential nuttiness ruins it for you.

My own experience has been like a montage out of the upcoming film Year-Old Virgin 2: One girl unaware of this subreddit or Reddit at all posted to innocently asked what "teabagging" was. I sent her a detailed explanation. She wrote back, asking for clarification. This went back and forth until I good-naturedly offered to show her. She sent back naked pictures of herself which showed her to be a quite attractive, b naked did I mention "naked"?

I've only ever tried it once. I live in the south, nobody uses it around here. But when I was on vacation once I tried it out in a larger city.

Being a straight male I didn't expect much luck, but I was fortunate enough to meet a couple who was looking for third. Well, actually they were looking for another couple, but settled on just a third. We met at a bar, had some beers, and the chemistry was right, so we headed back to my hotel and got on with the sexy times. Nothing too fancy, just your typical threeway.

But it was fun, and we met again later that week before I left. Can you elaborate on the second guy giving you cues so you know it's an act? What does that mean? So it seems that biology grows strings when women have sex. Of course, being higher order beings, we can control our emotions and our biological urges.

However, this takes work, experience and maturity. And the impact of wanting to bond with someone who does not want to bond can leave women feeling disappointed, confused and sometimes hurt.

Should women have casual sex? Well, 'shoulds' are not applicable to sex. Whatever works between consenting adults is not to be judged by me. However, from my own personal experience, most women cannot have a sexual encounter and not feel hurt if a man does not call again and is clear he has not intention to do so. Does the increase in the alcohol consumption of women have anything to do with the increase in casual sex?

If she cannot do it sober perhaps she shouldn't be doing it at all. Liquid courage to have sex often ends in liquid tears afterward. In college culture, hooking up is often fueled by alcohol which implies that under sober circumstances women would choose not to have sex with a casual acquaintance. It should be noted that in the Reid, Elliot and Webber study neither men or women seem to be particularly happy with NSA sex but women are less happy.

That said, when it comes to sex, if it feels good do it safely , but if it does not feel good then why bother? Casual sex becomes just for fun when that nesting urge is not a factor. When comparing men and women, its important to emphasize that the real differences are experienced by different number of each sex.

For example, the age old complaint about double standards. The complaint is that women are stigmatized and men are not. That's because almost all women have control over the number of sex partners and only a few men do. Right off there can't be a double standard when considering that the vast majority of men are lucky to get an occasional hookup. Male orgasm isn't associated with oxytocin release?! This has been established for years.

It's shameful that the author couldn't even google it. Oxytocin plays a couple of different essential roles in the process for men, so thanks for the link. Ruth was just trying to make a female-biology-as-male-destiny type of argument. Happens all the time. Feminacentrism is another manifestation of Womenfirsters' power to define the agenda. It requires looking at all problems exclusively from women's perspective, or for the purpose of seeing how women are affected.

It is based on the idea that women are more virtuous, more important than men. Feminacentrism is blind to the problems men face. Never generalize from your own experience to the experience of most "women. That generalizing is neither good psychology nor good sociology. All it is, is good presumption. When the author says "most And her statements about the sex differences are not derived from personal experience I suppose because they have been confirmed by countless surveys, studies and experiments.

Sounds like Pollyanna wrote this paper, in the 's. Should have been broken down by age. If you want babies, pick up a guy in a drunken state hoping for marriage and you are say, 28, yes-perhaps a hook-up could be depressing.

If you are 45, divorced, into your career, already been there-done that with children and your hook-up agrees with your premise-we are talking an entirely different theme. No alcohol need be involved, just two grown ups having a casual, safe and temporary friendship. Thank you for this comment! I am right in that same situation and finding anything useful about sex at post divorce not by choice is far and apart.

I have 4 kids a full time job and no urge to deal with "relationship" stuff. Still I have physical needs, used to have daily sex with my husband for 22 years. I can relieve myself by masturbating, but in the long it is not very satisfying.

There is a definite difference in having a partner to share it with lol It felt strange at first, but if you have dealt with your loss and defined your needs, I say: I figure that conducting research with American college students as subjects might be easy, but I doubt that insights could be extended to the rest of the female population in the world. I am perfectly alright with the idea of casual sex that is planned, and where parties are considerate to each other.

Consent is established well before the first drink, so alcohol shouldn't be a consideration. It seems to me that research is biased in considering that marriage should be the purpose of sex; and that sex alone is never emotionally satisfying for a woman. By studying young populations, studies keep the premises 'immature', and keep perpetuating myths about what men and women want. Yes, women of ALL ages are quite capable of having NSA sex without regrets, and I'd argue that a lot more would do it in the absence of ominous social judgements.

Even those enlightened women failed eventually in there promiscuous practices. And as for the comments calling out social judgments, society also judges the obese. Is obesity a healthy practice to should sensationalized by an "enlightened" culture. Did you seriously just cite Sex and the City as if it were a documentary of some kind on female sexuality? I hate even having to type the words, but: You do realize those women are characters, right? Their failures were contrived by a group of writers who probably harbor the same little grain of regressive conservative thinking that most people in this country do when it comes to the idea of women having sex.

Who knows if it's improbable? Cross cultural studies would be useful to take a look at different forms of casual sex in places less puritanical than the U. The "sexual revolution" wasn't so long ago, and women are still shamed and derided from all angles of society for wanting sex, for how they want sex, for how often or how little they want sex, and on and on and on.

There are many more social reasons than biological ones for why women experience casual sex less I foresee that gap fading eventually, but not any faster for all the articles pulled out of thin air to make it a contentious issue whether women even like this or that kind of sex.

Paternalism at its finest to take a behavior many women partake in and then ask if they, despite doing it en masse, are even biologically capable of enjoying it. S never knew that. I have been following the debate of casual sex and women and searched for some genuine and useful advise and feedback.

What I run into is mostly American websites and the research that has been conducted is primarily on college aged young adults and the "hook up" culture. Women have been having casual sex in all times, but it has been condemned by society and therefore kept under the "blankets". I am a mature woman of 45y, with 4 kids. I have been single for 1. I only had had 1 boyfriend before marrying. I have done my mourning, signed the divorce agreement, worked on my self spiritually in prayer, meditation and with my minister.

Emotionally I am stable and fulfilled, I have supportive friends, family and my children. Physically I am in great shape, healthy and fit. I work full time and my economy is in order. I am missing sex! Of course I can masturbate to relief my sexual needs and I do release tension by my "own hand". It is a poor substitute though to real sexual interaction with another human being.

Kissing, caressing and making out, feeling another body next to yours and having the oxytocin release: Modern research reveals that it happens to men too, not only women! I just put that oxytocin into good use cuddling my children, since mommy is on cloud nine after a night with some great "no strings attached" sex. I have no time or space in my life at this point to commit to a relationship. I am discreet, I am safe.

Condom is a must. I do not leave my home number or address. I am ready to take the risk of a brief emotional attachment, actually that is one of my requirements.

If there is no feeling of "connection" emotionally, physically, spiritually I do not "hook up" with the guy. The great thing is that men are also looking for that connection!

The guys I have met are not looking for brainless banging. They want to discuss life, relationships, religion, spirituality, dreams, passions Both know it is a none commitment thing, we meet and we part.

Hopefully both parties have had an expanding experience. I feel blessed to have shared that moment with them and my life is richer and my pussy is tender from hours of great sex and multiple orgasms!!!! So girl, please do take responsibility to cater for your own needs. If you are honest with yourself and your partner and not trying to cover up alternative motives, go for it. There are men that are looking for a great experience with a mature, assertive sexy lady that they can connect with and share a night or two of pleasure, no strings attached This article repeats the same bullshit assumptions I keep seeing about women and casual sex.

I am 37 and single. I have mostly been single for my whole life, although I ended a 5-year relationship almost a year ago. I never have had a problem with it. It is a godsend! I have physical needs just like any man, and like filling them with a little variety, thank you very much. The issue is with expectations: If you both just want to have a little fun, what's the harm in that? As long as both people realize what the deal is, it's great.

I agree that many women can do it. And it is also possible that there are generational differences. I have several female friends Europe, different countries, around yrs who went through an NSA sex phase for different reasons.

Some were after long, abusive or unhappy relationships, some were left by their partner. From my part, I only went into a relationship with the knowledge that the guy is not for me and that this will end rather sooner than later. I felt strongly attracted, and the guy did not lie at any stage, no false hopes for future together etc.

Nevertheless, even when I entered, I knew it will be painful when it ends. And it was 3 months later. I am a bonding type of person, want to know my partner intimately and share my life with him, so no way will I do NSA sex. For some, just the fact, that the guy was clearly not interested in them as a person, but more like a sex object, caused them to feel used regardless of their consent even if sex was physically satisfying for them.

I haven't read the above article regarding male oxytocin release during sex, but in another one earlier I did read that the testosterone if released in large amount will counteract the released oxytocin - and hence certain males will not bond via sex whereas women do not have this "defense".

Stereotypes are not the full picture, I agree. And for the same reason I also do not like some men writing about their need for casual sex as a generalised, all men's dream of thing. Non-functioning, boring, sexless, etc. PUA community using tools of a sociopathic narcissist's mindset to basically rape women some using covert hypnosis, young, gullible, undereducated, psychologically troubled etc.

The difference I see between this and roofying someone, that with the drug it is more provable that abuse happened. One of the terms in PUA lingo clearly describes this: Some PUA gurus after a while get more chilled and end up in monogamous relationships but by then they contributed to tremendous abuse directly and indirectly for female victims as well as their customers.

Looking at Maslow's hierarchy, sex is a fundamental. Looking at health-focused research, sex is healthy and necessary. What do you do if you are alone? After one year with no one-on-one sex, I decided to try a casual arrangement. From the first, it was wonderful. There are no undercurrents, and each of us can get out at any time, no questions asked. I am very happy. I am 54 and he is If women can be choosy about the height, physical appearance, and wealth of their casual sex partners, why shouldn't men be choosy about the past sexual conduct or "morals" of their potential long-term relationship partners?

The so-called "double standard" works both ways. The simple fact is, women these days have more options and more choices than men. That's why heterosexual bars and clubs have "ladies night" instead of "men's night". The women, not the men, get to do the choosing. At closing time on ladies night, a group of average, slightly shy, somewhat short men are sitting alone at the bar while the women have left with all the big, tall, square jawed athletic looking guys with big feet- the same guys who went home with different women after the last ladies night.

That's fine- we all should have the freedom to make our own choices, but we also have to face the consequences of our actions. I would like to point out that young boys don't dream about growing up and marrying girls for who they are sexual partner number 25 any more than daddy wants his little girl to grow up to be a porn star.

And no amount of hypocritical, self-righteous "feminism"- short of a totalitarian "Brave New World"- is going to change that dynamic. While I don't approve of that group's behavior, I do think that what they are doing cannot in any way be compared to "rape" as you suggested.

Lying maybe, but rape, no. What you are implying is that women are too stupid to make their own choices or to see through childish head games. As someone who believes in the mental equality even superiority of women, I find your suggestion appalling. If a woman feels "used" afterwards, perhaps that's a sign that she should be more choosy, or even delay a sexual involvement for some time until she's sure about the man's intentions.

I'ts sad that women are falling for that sort of thing, but they made a choice, so live and learn. I think a lot of frustrated guys who lack self confidence, good looks, or stature are likely to try the "PUA" methodology, because they've felt rejected or hurt by women, and also they see the blatant hypocrisy in women's sexual behavior. By hypocrisy, I mean the way women promote the idea of a finding a loving, committed partner i.

The popularity of "PUA" tricks shouldn't be any more shocking than that of "penis enlargement" gimmicks which don't work; these industries prey upon gullible men with deep seated insecurities, fears which are often amplified by women's actual behavior. The first glaringly problematic comment the author made, is that "in my personal experience, most women cannot have casual sex without feeling hurt if the other person doesn't call back and has no intention of doing so.

It is obvious from that sentence, that the author is butt-hurt about a guy Feeling ashamed of herself, she decided to extrapolate her experience to mean "most women must feel this way since that is how I feel.

I do not understand how one author's personal butt-hurt made it into a renowned magazine about Psychology as a general guideline. I assure you, as a man, it is equally obnoxious to hook up with a girl you like and have her never show up again or call you back. It is a silly double standard to assume that women do not do this to men as well, to assume women do not sport-fuck you for a notch on their belt, because many of them will and you will not know about it until afterwards.

I also take issue with the whole "if she has to drink to have sex, maybe she shouldn't be having sex. People drink to lower inhibitions and get laid. It just happens that way. Sex is fun when it's thrilling and has that "is this going to happen? A drunk man's inhibitions are not lowered any less than a drunk woman's, and for this reason I say I believe hooking up even when there is some form of attachment can be quite possible and, not only that, but very fulfilling.

I am a young single mother and I have found that most of my relationships since my daughter was born, have been very short lived and meaningless.

...

According to Vanity Fair , Tinder is the harbinger of today's hookup-fueled "dating apocalypse. And as for Tinder, sure, it can be used for swiftly finding a one-night stand, but there are plenty of other apps that are better suited for that task. If your life is too busy to squeeze in the time-consuming intricacies of a longer-term relationship, or you're just looking for a little low-stakes fun tonight, you need a quick, surefire way to find a quality fling.

And the great thing is, whether you prefer chatting extensively with your new crush first or a little fantasy in your play, there are diverse options to suit your every whim and desire. When you need to find a hookup, like, yesterday, you should hit up one of these 26 awesome apps.

This story originally ran August 20, Tingle If you're going on vacation and looking to meet singles, Tingle free on iOS and Android is the app for you. Its Teleport feature lets you browse profiles in the city of your choice before you get there, so that you have a hookup buddy on lock before you even get off the plane.

Or use the app's Radar feature, which notifies you when you're in close proximity to a potential match. And if you're unsure about taking things offline with a match, Tingle also lets you video and voice chat with matches in real time so you can get to know them better before exchanging digits. Tonight Tonight cuts to the chase. The purpose of the app free on iOS , which was founded by a former OkCupid employee, is to get people off their phones and on an IRL date.

Just tap a button by 6 p. The app shows you others who are also interested in going out. Select people you'd like to meet and Tonight sets things up for you, even going so far as to pick a cool spot to meet. It doesn't get much easier than that. The sole downside is that the app is currently only live in Manhattan and Brooklyn. Wild Wild is an aptly named app for someone seeking a no strings attached situation.

The free app lets you browse anonymously and has photo verification so you know if your match is real or not — catfishers beware. The best feature for someone wanting a hookup is the filter search tool, which lets you find others who are on the app with the same goal in mind. Once If you're tired of incessant swiping, Once free for iOS might be up your alley. The app's matchmakers will pick matches they think you'll like and send you a handpicked few everyday at noon. You take it from there.

If you want to give the matchmaker a clue about who really gets you excited you can pair your Fitbit with the app — a heartbeat spike indicates your interest. Feeld Feeld cryptically describes itself as "A private space where you can meet couples or singles with minds that breathe freedom.

A field for you to discover your sexuality and explore it by yourself, with your other half or with any human you'd like. Users aren't required to use their real names, though all members are Facebook-verified. You can, however, choose to be hidden from friends, ensuring at least some level of privacy. Get matched with people around you and start a chat, where you can send messages that disappear after being viewed.

Casualx For those who feel like they encounter too many relationship-minded people on Tinder, Casualx is billing itself as the answer. The app's bold slogan is "Tinder minus marriage-minded daters. The app also promises that it reviews each profile manually which may be feasible with smaller numbers of users, but has us questioning what it will do as it grows larger.

Beacon Beacon isn't a dating app per say, but it can be used like one. Unlike most other apps that have you log in through Facebook, Beacon has you log in with your Twitter account. You can create "events" — see if others want to meet up for a drink or pool for a Lyft — and then either limit the invite to mutual Twitter followers or make it public.

The app is a leap of faith since you don't know who will join your event it's also very new, so its pool of users doesn't seem very big yet , but it might be worth a try if you're burnt out on other options. Mingle2 Instead of swiping, Mingle2 has users tap a heart to indicate that they like someone.

You can also "nudge" someone, which is similar to when you'd "poke" your crush on Facebook in ninth grade. Hitch Hitch free, iOS and Android is centered around shared interests. Start off by making a profile as you would on any other dating app.

Then, check out trending conversations among people located nearby and join discussions centered around specific categories, such as travel and events, food, and fashion and lifestyle. Meet someone in a group that you want to chat one-on-one? Just reach out to get the conversation started. Klique If you'd prefer to meet your date in a group setting, go with Klique.

After matching with someone, the app lets each person bring other friends who are also on the app into the conversation so that you can all make plans together — and your friends can weigh in on your date. The app lets you swipe for a match in typical Tinder fashion, but also gives you the option of having it set up a date for you, taking out all the annoying, never-ending messages.

You can also filter by relationship intention or pick one of the in-person mixers that other app members have indicated they're going to.

The app free on iOS is similar to others in that you create an "Ad profile" with photos you can set them to private or public , and your first name and age.

From there, you can send messages or "winks" similar to likes to other members and wait for the replies to roll in. Whim Don't feel like texting back and forth?

Whim free on iOS is the answer: The app gets rid of the kind of endless communication that can go on for days. Just create a profile and enter which days that week are good for you.

When you match with a potential date, Whim will pick a time and place that works for both of you. All you have to do is show up — no messaging required. Zipskee Traveling solo is something most women should try at least once.

But if you're also looking for some action, you may want some help meeting the local flavors — and for that you need a local. While this isn't a dating app, Zipskee free on iOS will pair you with a local guide on your trip to show you around. Your male or female guide should know the spots you should hit so you can meet someone worthwhile while you're in town.

Stud Or Dud Despite its name, this app actually has nothing to do with sorting potential dates based on physical attractiveness. If you want to make sure the bae you're hooking up with doesn't have a shady past, you can use Stud or Dud free on iOS to quickly look up publicly available information about their identity.

The app can show you whether they have a job, whether they're married, and whether they've been to court for various issues. If you're paranoid the guy you just met might be an axe murderer, this app should help you rest easy. I never have had a problem with it. It is a godsend! I have physical needs just like any man, and like filling them with a little variety, thank you very much. The issue is with expectations: If you both just want to have a little fun, what's the harm in that?

As long as both people realize what the deal is, it's great. I agree that many women can do it. And it is also possible that there are generational differences. I have several female friends Europe, different countries, around yrs who went through an NSA sex phase for different reasons.

Some were after long, abusive or unhappy relationships, some were left by their partner. From my part, I only went into a relationship with the knowledge that the guy is not for me and that this will end rather sooner than later. I felt strongly attracted, and the guy did not lie at any stage, no false hopes for future together etc.

Nevertheless, even when I entered, I knew it will be painful when it ends. And it was 3 months later. I am a bonding type of person, want to know my partner intimately and share my life with him, so no way will I do NSA sex.

For some, just the fact, that the guy was clearly not interested in them as a person, but more like a sex object, caused them to feel used regardless of their consent even if sex was physically satisfying for them. I haven't read the above article regarding male oxytocin release during sex, but in another one earlier I did read that the testosterone if released in large amount will counteract the released oxytocin - and hence certain males will not bond via sex whereas women do not have this "defense".

Stereotypes are not the full picture, I agree. And for the same reason I also do not like some men writing about their need for casual sex as a generalised, all men's dream of thing. Non-functioning, boring, sexless, etc. PUA community using tools of a sociopathic narcissist's mindset to basically rape women some using covert hypnosis, young, gullible, undereducated, psychologically troubled etc.

The difference I see between this and roofying someone, that with the drug it is more provable that abuse happened. One of the terms in PUA lingo clearly describes this: Some PUA gurus after a while get more chilled and end up in monogamous relationships but by then they contributed to tremendous abuse directly and indirectly for female victims as well as their customers.

Looking at Maslow's hierarchy, sex is a fundamental. Looking at health-focused research, sex is healthy and necessary. What do you do if you are alone? After one year with no one-on-one sex, I decided to try a casual arrangement. From the first, it was wonderful. There are no undercurrents, and each of us can get out at any time, no questions asked. I am very happy. I am 54 and he is If women can be choosy about the height, physical appearance, and wealth of their casual sex partners, why shouldn't men be choosy about the past sexual conduct or "morals" of their potential long-term relationship partners?

The so-called "double standard" works both ways. The simple fact is, women these days have more options and more choices than men. That's why heterosexual bars and clubs have "ladies night" instead of "men's night". The women, not the men, get to do the choosing. At closing time on ladies night, a group of average, slightly shy, somewhat short men are sitting alone at the bar while the women have left with all the big, tall, square jawed athletic looking guys with big feet- the same guys who went home with different women after the last ladies night.

That's fine- we all should have the freedom to make our own choices, but we also have to face the consequences of our actions. I would like to point out that young boys don't dream about growing up and marrying girls for who they are sexual partner number 25 any more than daddy wants his little girl to grow up to be a porn star. And no amount of hypocritical, self-righteous "feminism"- short of a totalitarian "Brave New World"- is going to change that dynamic.

While I don't approve of that group's behavior, I do think that what they are doing cannot in any way be compared to "rape" as you suggested. Lying maybe, but rape, no. What you are implying is that women are too stupid to make their own choices or to see through childish head games. As someone who believes in the mental equality even superiority of women, I find your suggestion appalling.

If a woman feels "used" afterwards, perhaps that's a sign that she should be more choosy, or even delay a sexual involvement for some time until she's sure about the man's intentions. I'ts sad that women are falling for that sort of thing, but they made a choice, so live and learn. I think a lot of frustrated guys who lack self confidence, good looks, or stature are likely to try the "PUA" methodology, because they've felt rejected or hurt by women, and also they see the blatant hypocrisy in women's sexual behavior.

By hypocrisy, I mean the way women promote the idea of a finding a loving, committed partner i. The popularity of "PUA" tricks shouldn't be any more shocking than that of "penis enlargement" gimmicks which don't work; these industries prey upon gullible men with deep seated insecurities, fears which are often amplified by women's actual behavior.

The first glaringly problematic comment the author made, is that "in my personal experience, most women cannot have casual sex without feeling hurt if the other person doesn't call back and has no intention of doing so.

It is obvious from that sentence, that the author is butt-hurt about a guy Feeling ashamed of herself, she decided to extrapolate her experience to mean "most women must feel this way since that is how I feel. I do not understand how one author's personal butt-hurt made it into a renowned magazine about Psychology as a general guideline. I assure you, as a man, it is equally obnoxious to hook up with a girl you like and have her never show up again or call you back.

It is a silly double standard to assume that women do not do this to men as well, to assume women do not sport-fuck you for a notch on their belt, because many of them will and you will not know about it until afterwards. I also take issue with the whole "if she has to drink to have sex, maybe she shouldn't be having sex.

People drink to lower inhibitions and get laid. It just happens that way. Sex is fun when it's thrilling and has that "is this going to happen?

A drunk man's inhibitions are not lowered any less than a drunk woman's, and for this reason I say I believe hooking up even when there is some form of attachment can be quite possible and, not only that, but very fulfilling. I am a young single mother and I have found that most of my relationships since my daughter was born, have been very short lived and meaningless.

There is one person who has become both, a friend, and a lover. He happens to be my daughter's father. We spend time as a family, but want nothing to do with a serious relationship between the two of us. We are simply two people who have a child together that occasionally share in a physically gratifying arrangement. If either one of is were to want to settle, we are more than welcome to walk away, and if not, we are both perfectly fine in our situation.

We can also feel free to hook up with other people if we so choose. It takes away the awkwardness of having to share ourselves with new people if we didn't want to, plus we both know what each other likes and it is just easy and fun.

The main problem with this article and many similar articles is the basic misinterpretation of oxytocin release. Yes, oxytocin is released during orgasm and is a factor for women becoming attached to men. However, that attachment is a sexual attachment NOT an emotional attachment. Having an orgasm, will make a woman want to have sex with that man again but it won't cause her to suddenly fall in love with him, want a committed relationship with him if she wasn't already , or become emotionally attached.

The main problem is that there's still an underlying assumption that women become emotionally attached from sex. As a result, what boys and girls are taught about sexual behavior and research on how men and women react to sex will almost always be interpreted from a biased viewpoint.

An analogy would be if a crime was committed and the police automatically assumed from the start one man we'll call him Pete was the perp. This would result in the police solely focusing on Pete, interpreting the evidence as proof of Pete's guilt ie the perp was a man I am 32 and female and have had 4 long term relationships 3 to 5 years though I really don't know why. I have zero desire to get married or have kids, never have. When I am single, which I am now, I have tons of fuck buddies and nsa sex, and they almost never have alcohol or drugs involved.

Ok, the occasional alcohol since bars are a good place to meet guys who want to hook up, but I don't get wasted. All of my relationships ended because I can't form proper emotional bonds to boyfriends and can't give them the love they need. I had to break it off with them.

So since I need sex I find men who I am completely honest with about my intentions: I may not want to see you again ever and if I do it'll just be for sex, I don't cuddle, I really don't want a relationship, and I'll be fucking other guys.

I've only had one guy turn me down and we had already had sex a few times, it just took him a while to decide he didn't like that. I never feel ashamed or dirty or like what I did was wrong in any way. I also never feel any attachment to these guys. I've considered that I may be a sex addict, but I'm always faithful while in a relationship. Just one girls experience. I can't seem to find anyone else with similar experiences.

I have an experience to be in no obligations relationship. I ended it in one month as it was impossible to keep myself completely dis attached emotionally from a man I liked and it was clear he was indifferent except for pure sex. Both of us are mature adults having adult kids; we have our financial independence, yet, it was weird for me to agree acting like I was no human. I can honestly say that when I have ex with a man, I never want to see him again. If I like a man and we get along great, I don't feel a sexual attraction to him.

If I do end up having sex with him, I never have anything to do with him again. It ruins our connection as far as I am concerned. I love sex, don't get wrong but it doesn't evoke any emotions from me. It doesn't create a "bond" or any other connection to the man for me.

To really enjoy sex, it has to be with a man I have only met once, maybe twice and then once we have committed the act I can't bear to think of seeing him again. I forgot to include in my original statement that I also cannot abide the "cuddling", the "afterglow" nonsense. For me it's purely; Do the deed and get out. I prefer to meet where I control the fact that I immediately leave.

I never let a man know where I live. I know, the number is shocking and not something I'm particularly proud of but neither am I ashamed by it. Yes is my answer, they can and the reason why my number is so high is because it's far too easy for women to.

I can only speak for myself but I wouldn't say I'm a 'typical' female. I have a drink problem for one. Never know when to stop and have blackouts.

Half the time I don't even remember how I 'pulled' the guy. I'm shy and awkward around men when sober but when drunk become this horny, seductive and flirty may I say it nympho vixen. I don't sleep with men so they 'like' me. I do it because being sexually desired is intoxicating and alcohol makes me friggin horny. I'm a complete hedonist. I'm also terrified of commitment and intimacy.

Men mean to me controlling, angry and hard work I know this isn't true and doesn't apply to the majority of men but once you've been traumatised as a child it's extremely difficult to change this view on an emotional level. The irony is when I meet men and I tell them up front that this is a one off, I don't have anything more to give and let's just have a mutually pleasurable time - they then find me a challenge and start getting all serious.

As I've got older I've fine tuned the experience. I light candles, have a sex playlist and love dressing up in sexy outfits. The men always want to stay over and spend the night cuddling I do to, oxytocin is amazing! The trick is to make is mutually fun and not let anyone feel used.

I make the men feel special and that's reciprocated. Women, it goes like this: That price is lower perceived value in the eyes of higher quality potential mates.

And yes, that's a two-way street, except a man with many "conquests" becomes more--not less--desirable in the eyes of women who wrongly assume the Lothario must truly be someone special. You are assuming that everyone spills their guts about their private lives to everyone they meet.

If I were to begin dating a man, there is no reason for me to tell him anything about other men and I feel the same way about his other women. I care about the person I am meeting now, not the person that existed a year ago or 5 years ago. Not any of my business. What a misogynistic view to call it "whoring around". Get out of the 18th century. At the beginning, you're putting your best foot forward, just as you would during a job interview, the function of non-hook-up dating.

People have a right to their privacy, but if you're interested in sharing a future with someone, you're going to need to know what kind of person they are. In addition to what that "special someone" tells you, there are many ways to glean this, including observing their interactions with family, friends, strangers, etc.

While not guaranteed, past behavior and experience are the most useful in predicting current and future behavior. For some women, reading my comments is their first encounter with a voice who pulls no punches and tells it like it is.

I take this responsibility seriously. If a woman sleeps around, she's probably going to remain on that wavelength. If it makes her happy, great. But generally speaking, a chippy doesn't make a good gf or wife the same way a Lothario won't make a decent husband.

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Locanto female seeking male casual sex encounter One of the terms in PUA lingo clearly describes this: This story originally ran August 20, Don't even think of trying the converse male-biology-as-female-destiny approach. I do not leave my home number or address. The men always want to stay over and spend the night cuddling I do to, oxytocin is amazing! And the great thing is, whether you prefer chatting extensively with your new crush first or a little fantasy in your play, there are diverse options to suit your every whim and desire. This chatting app for hetero singles uses your location to find matches near you.

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